You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
