Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You ruined the universe
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
