wanna go halves on a baby?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
