I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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