I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
