if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
