i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
