I'm lost and stupid without you.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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