I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
