If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
