I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
