he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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