I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
