you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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