dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
