She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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