u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
