so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
