You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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