dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
smell my finger.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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