dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
