I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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