He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
