Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
