Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dignity is for republicans.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
