you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
