maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
