Screwed.edu
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
where are you?
Hypothermia
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
