R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i've created a new STD.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
