I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
