I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
