he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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