just tell him i said nine months
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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