Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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