Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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