I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
