Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
