You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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