My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
