I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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