Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
