Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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