My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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