So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
