I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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