He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
