just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
