That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
