for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
