i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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