I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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