ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
