just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
